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Bonzo's Severely Scraped Scrotum & Other Doggy Tales.

Timeline 1950s - Present Day : Location Various Warwickshire Abodes.

Now England is a real dog loving Nation and I am sure you will all have a few anecdotes of your own - here are some of mine.

Lapworth 1960s: Butch the Boxer was a typical "mad boxer" and lived happily with Sophie The British Bull Terrier and Bonkers her son who was the product of an athletic Black Labrador who jumped the gate "at that awkward time" . Butch was a lovely dog with a lovely temperament  but who hated cats and he spent hours chasing our dozen or so outside "ratter cats" round the grounds . One fine day he was chasing Thomas Tight Arse a black cat of advanced years who had gone blind and sadly he chased him into a tree stump where TTA knocked himself out - I think Butch was somewhat surprised to have caught him - but he still ate him!

Snitterfield 1970s: Here we had Horace , a fine British Bulldog who was well bred and thankfully suffered no breathing or other difficulties that are so prevalent in the breed today - in fact he lived to the ripe old age of nearly 14 - a great age for a British Bulldog. He did however chew , fart & smell a lot ! I took him to The Kings Head in Aston Cantlow one Sunday and left him in the car for an hour whilst I had a lunchtime drink with windows slightly open and in the shade (though it wasn't hot anyway) and I could see the car from the pub window . He had his favourite toy, a bedraggled Teddy, and his favourite smelly blanket with him. The car was a fairly new mini  which I was quite proud of at the time and when I came back out I was horrified to see that he had actually eaten right through the two steering wheel arms that connected the wheel to the boss and the wheel was completely detached ! I drove back to Snitterfield in Joystick fashion by using just the remains of the two arms ! I saw the funny side of it though!

Shipston 1990s Along came Bonzo the Boxer . He was the most lovely dog and one of the last big boxers, very athletic and completely mad for all of his 13 years . He had boundless energy but was completely daft and had no road sense at all - this coupled with the fact that he was intent on escaping from anywhere made him quite a handful - again we were very lucky because he was an exceptionally healthy dog and the only times he ever needed the vet apart from the usual jabs were "Scrotum Related" .
For the first incident I was incarcerated in hospital and Sheelagh had to deal with it ! He had escaped out of Park House , been hit by a speeding Ford Mondeo which he severely dented and thrown into the air at which point Sheelagh, fearing the worst, whisked him up to the quite wonderful Martin the vet who checked him over and found him to be 100% OK apart from a very severely scraped scrotum from when he landed on the tarmac.
The other incident occurred when we were decorating the kitchen -  Bonzo managed to knock over a half gallon container of Turpentine which went all over the floor at which point he lay in it and also tried to drink it! Within about 30 seconds he got up and went careering round the kitchen yelping for all his life - the poor old boy had covered his "John Thomas" in the stuff and it had taken effect! Sheelagh phoned Martin the vet for advice -  "For God's sake don't let Baggy smoke near him, get some warm soapy water and gently clean his nether regions"  Needless to say Bonzo enjoyed this immensely - his ears went back, heavy breathing etc ! However when Sheelagh stopped he returned to his discomfort and eventually dug a hole in the rose beds and settled his hind quarters into the cool soil which did the trick!

Shipston 2012 Pongo then Zsaza French Bulldogs. Time to downsize doggies . Not sure whether you would call them big little dogs or little big dogs but they are utterly fabulous and make up a huge part of my life . I hasten to add that they arrived before the breed's explosion in popularity and are just a delight . I would stress here that their new found popularity has made it even more important to buy your Frenchie very carefully and take advice from The French Bulldog Club . Now Pongo who is a Muggshot is extremely well bred - his father won best of breed at Crufts and Zsazsa is also well bred  so consequently they are not beset with the plethora of health problems that poorly bred doggies are.  It was always the intention to breed from them to keep the line going - not to make money but to keep a lovely puppy. Timing could not have been worse - our daughter , Maeve, was getting married and Zsazsa decided to come into season and yes you guessed it! - they literally got tied in the garden on the morning of the wedding . Now these days , apparently , it is de rigeur to have photographs of the bride's mother and father getting dressed for the wedding and the photographer rang the bell when I was in my underpants with a glass of Cognac in hand . A very nice Polish man (good photographer too) said " I have come to take pictures of you preparing" - I responded "sorry old chap I get up according to my own routine and I certainly don't want any photographs" - he then rather crestfallen went to snap Sheelagh in the conservatory at which point Pongo & Zsazsa fired up ! Sadly there was no issue from this event!
I think Pongo is now trying to usurp my position of patriarch in the family as he used to lie contentedly at the foot of my bed but the other night I went for a piddle only to find that he had actually got in the bed and was lying there like a human with his head on my pillow !  I told him "not yet boy - not yet!"    



     

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