Timeline: Late 1990s Location : Gloucester & Shipston on Stour.
My very dear friend Bugsy Nicholson who is sadly no longer with us was both a great character and for a long period my best chum. We lived together on & off in various places including the grim little flat that featured in my blogs "The Waggling Spoon and also Cold Champagne , Fortnums Pie & The Wet Beer Tent " , a wonderful Toy shop , a narrow boat and a farm cottage. We had an awful lot of fun together and you will find more "Baggy & Bugsy tales" to come - this one is however is a Bugsy "Solo Event" as recounted to me straight from the horse's mouth.
Bugsy was working for Redkir Construction of Brailes who were civil engineers of high regard who undertook underground duct work for BT and other telecom providers. In order to lay the underground ducts both roads and pavements had to be excavated by Redkir in order that the various cables and fibre optics could be provided underground which of course meant that there could be significant disruption to some householders that were in the path of the trenches to be dug. It was therefore Bugsy's job to video the streets where the excavation was to take place in order that it would show existing faults in householders' gardens , fences and walls etc so that that the householder couldn't claim for example that their "brand new wall had fallen down as a consequence of the excavation work".
On one Sunday evening in the White Bear I asked Bugsy where he was working the following day - "Gloucester " he replied "don't know where the street is but I will find it" . So in Bugsy's words he got to Gloucester at about 9.30am and thought , as a farmer's son he would go to the cattle market which he knew well and somebody would know where "Alfred Street" was but on approaching the cattle market he noticed a very pretty WPC , wound the window down and exclaimed "excuse me my dear can you direct me to Alfred Street?" - the WPC came across to him and said "certainly sir" and started to give him directions but after a minute or so started sniffing at the open window - "have you been drinking sir?" - "certainly not it's 9.30 in the morning !" he retorted - "well were you drinking last night sir" - "naturally of course I drink every night!" . At this point he was asked to get out of his pickup and take a roadside breath test which of course he failed and the net result was that he had to leave his motor there and join the WPC in her car who transported him to the big Lion Intoximeter at Gloucester police station where on account of time lapse due to traffic conditions he passed as "borderline" . The pretty WPC took him back to his motor and gave him detailed instructions of how to get to Alfred Street.
Having parked in Alfred Street he set about his task by strapping the large professional video camera over his shoulder and started filming. Now Bugsy was not actually racist at all - he was however very Politically Incorrect till the day he died and to use his words - "There I was filming away and suddenly this "ruddy great buck n****r came up behind me , ripped the camera off my shoulder nearly pulled my shoulder out and scarpered" - "what did you do" I asked - "I went straight to the nearest pub , drank three large Scotches and phoned the Police". Apparently it was during Bugsy's fifth glass that the constabulary turned up at the pub . Bugsy asked me how many police did I think there would be in Gloucester City at any one time - I didn't know but hazarded a guess at 30 odd - Bugsy agreed. But of course , as you might suspect, it was the same pretty WPC that had breathalysed him some three hours before - "Oh Mr Nicholson you are not having a lot of luck in Gloucester are you?" - "No I am ruddy not - in fact I am never returning and don't worry I am getting a lift home"
He drove home but never did return!
My very dear friend Bugsy Nicholson who is sadly no longer with us was both a great character and for a long period my best chum. We lived together on & off in various places including the grim little flat that featured in my blogs "The Waggling Spoon and also Cold Champagne , Fortnums Pie & The Wet Beer Tent " , a wonderful Toy shop , a narrow boat and a farm cottage. We had an awful lot of fun together and you will find more "Baggy & Bugsy tales" to come - this one is however is a Bugsy "Solo Event" as recounted to me straight from the horse's mouth.
Bugsy was working for Redkir Construction of Brailes who were civil engineers of high regard who undertook underground duct work for BT and other telecom providers. In order to lay the underground ducts both roads and pavements had to be excavated by Redkir in order that the various cables and fibre optics could be provided underground which of course meant that there could be significant disruption to some householders that were in the path of the trenches to be dug. It was therefore Bugsy's job to video the streets where the excavation was to take place in order that it would show existing faults in householders' gardens , fences and walls etc so that that the householder couldn't claim for example that their "brand new wall had fallen down as a consequence of the excavation work".
On one Sunday evening in the White Bear I asked Bugsy where he was working the following day - "Gloucester " he replied "don't know where the street is but I will find it" . So in Bugsy's words he got to Gloucester at about 9.30am and thought , as a farmer's son he would go to the cattle market which he knew well and somebody would know where "Alfred Street" was but on approaching the cattle market he noticed a very pretty WPC , wound the window down and exclaimed "excuse me my dear can you direct me to Alfred Street?" - the WPC came across to him and said "certainly sir" and started to give him directions but after a minute or so started sniffing at the open window - "have you been drinking sir?" - "certainly not it's 9.30 in the morning !" he retorted - "well were you drinking last night sir" - "naturally of course I drink every night!" . At this point he was asked to get out of his pickup and take a roadside breath test which of course he failed and the net result was that he had to leave his motor there and join the WPC in her car who transported him to the big Lion Intoximeter at Gloucester police station where on account of time lapse due to traffic conditions he passed as "borderline" . The pretty WPC took him back to his motor and gave him detailed instructions of how to get to Alfred Street.
Having parked in Alfred Street he set about his task by strapping the large professional video camera over his shoulder and started filming. Now Bugsy was not actually racist at all - he was however very Politically Incorrect till the day he died and to use his words - "There I was filming away and suddenly this "ruddy great buck n****r came up behind me , ripped the camera off my shoulder nearly pulled my shoulder out and scarpered" - "what did you do" I asked - "I went straight to the nearest pub , drank three large Scotches and phoned the Police". Apparently it was during Bugsy's fifth glass that the constabulary turned up at the pub . Bugsy asked me how many police did I think there would be in Gloucester City at any one time - I didn't know but hazarded a guess at 30 odd - Bugsy agreed. But of course , as you might suspect, it was the same pretty WPC that had breathalysed him some three hours before - "Oh Mr Nicholson you are not having a lot of luck in Gloucester are you?" - "No I am ruddy not - in fact I am never returning and don't worry I am getting a lift home"
He drove home but never did return!
Comments
Post a Comment