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Cold Champagne, Fortnum's Pie & a Wet Beer Tent!

 
Timeline circa 1978 - Location Springhill Point to Point , Cotswolds.
I have always loved point to points as a fun social occasion and this year I had saved to get some good Champagne and a game pie from Fortnum's for our outing to Springhill. I asked Sheelagh who I was courting at the time and was utterly crestfallen to hear she was going with an Australian chap and he had "Australian Champagne" ! I pointed out that there was no such thing and that my offering from Epernay was superior in every respect but alas my protestations were all in vain - and so it was !

Bugsy and I arrived at Springhill with my hamper full of vittles and of course we were drinking heavily from the start having parked my ancient Volvo on the hill in the prime complimentary car park. By race three we had drunk all the Champagne and had reverted to extremely large hip flasks so I thought it would be a good time to absorb some solids in the form of the large Fortnum's game pie - sadly I had frozen it and not taken it out of the freezer earlier enough so it was still rock solid and in disgust at myself for the lack of foresight I rolled it down the hill. I watched in horror as it gathered speed and careered past a Bentley where there were a clutch of middle aged chaps "boot grazing" - it continued hurtling down the hill and fortunately finally crashed into an old Land-Rover where the damage was minimal.

It was sometime during the fourth race that Bugsy bet me two quid that he could beat me scaling the outside of the Beer Tent and piddle off the top first - now Bugsy was five foot seven and about seven stone and I was about seventeen stone - but I accepted the bet anyway!  I was about a third of the way up when I looked up to see Bugsy hanging onto the tent pole with one hand and piddling a good stream with the other! At this point a good crowd had gathered complete with two Special Constables and everyone fortunately saw the funny side of it  as we were coaxed down by the Specials who were very good about it and just told us to be good boys and behave!

We thought that was the end of it but sadly the Evesham Journal reported that "there had been an incident between the fourth & fifth race etc etc" . This was read by the Chief Constable who then instructed Sgt Gay to take action which culminated in Bugsy being bound over in the sum of fifty pounds for a year. Just before Christmas that year we had been drinking in Ivor's in Chipping Campden and spotted a cast iron nutcracker in Robert Welch studios which for all the world looked a bit like a large thumbscrew torturer - we purchased it , attached a luggage label to it which read "Happy Christmas Sgt Gay - here is a thumbscrew for you regards Bugsy & Baggy" and hand delivered it to his office in the nick in Chipping Campden - sadly he wasn't on duty but we heard subsequently he thought it highly amusing!

Needless to say Sheelagh was far from impressed!       

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