Timeline: 1950s - Present Location: Warwickshire, Gibraltar & Tangiers
My first encounters with various animals was at my parental home in Lapworth , Warwickshire.
My father , the charismatic cross between Churchill & Lucan had a very "soft spot" for animals so my early childhood was blessed with being close to a huge variety. There were always three or four dogs , some dozen or more "yard" cats ,a Green Fronted Amazon Parrot called Charlie who laid an egg and became Charlotte , an aviary full of squawking parakeets & budgerigars , about 500 free running chickens (much to the delight of the local Fox) and George The Monkey.
I am never quite sure what type of Monkey he was but I think he was a Spider Monkey . He was pretty much hated by the whole household apart from father who he amused greatly - but of course father never had to clean up after him - he just sat in his Victorian ex-dentist's chair and laughed with George like a naughty schoolboy . George spent 90% of his time living on high up on the pelmets and pooing down the curtains and I remember Mrs P saying it was nigh on a full time job just looking after "the wretched thing " as she called it . Very often if you were eating he would glare down at you watching you take every mouthful and then swing down off the curtains , pinch a potato or some such thing off your plate , swing back up to the pelmets and half eat his booty before hurling (very accurately) a half eaten potato back at you followed by much hand clapping and grinning! I am glad to say that eventually he went to live in a friend of my father's house in Knowle.
My next encounter with monkeys / apes was at a Cabinetmaker in Gretton near Winchcombe in Gloucestershire called Willie Udelhoven. Willie had a partner whose name escapes me and in their workshop they had a large Monkey in a very capacious cage. The thing was called "The Shop Steward" - so called because it was meant to keep the peace between Willie and his partner - but in true Shop Steward Style it sat and masturbated for most of the day! Their cabinetmaking and antique furniture restoration was excellent and I was assured the shop steward was quite happy.
Following this was Rome zoo in my early courting days with Sheelagh - an odd place where prostitutes lined the perimeter in little makeshift huts with braziers outside and plied their trade with the fathers while mothers would take the families to the zoo. The Monkey House was very popular here with both young and old who watched with great interest the sexual habits of the said beasts. There was a lot of fornication happening much to the delight of the crowds and the parents would watch with really rather young children - in Britain I think it would have been "come along Jonnie let's go and get an ice cream" - but no - not here in true Latin style when one "started" the whole crowd would start clapping and shouting with much glee which of course encouraged the monkeys even more!
My next encounter was with the large Barbary Apes in Gibraltar - horrid big beasts that used to love "green" tourists and pinch their handbags and hurl them off the cliff . I believe that all the Apes there are in the employ of the British Army and even have paybooks! When living in Tangiers our landlord , Bernhart an exiled ex Nazi , had one called Katinka who was probably the most evil beast I have ever encountered but was fortunately tethered to a stout tree and secured by collar & chain .
In Kenya we holidayed on a little island close to the Tanganyikan border with both children who were then about 9 and 11and we resided in two sort of luxury mud & grass hut affairs and were given a roomboy/servant called Peter. Peter was a delightful chap but was instilled with the typical "Kenyan work ethic" everything was "polee polee" meaning very slowly . One day he came to me and said my children had made a terrible mess in their hut and he was going to the Island Manager , Mr Bob so I called Maeve & Gabe and asked them what on earth they had been doing in their hut but they assured me that they were blameless so I decided to investigate myself only to find two monkeys up in the ceiling causing havoc and chucking stuff everywhere!
So safe to say that Monkeys and I don't really hit it off!
My first encounters with various animals was at my parental home in Lapworth , Warwickshire.
My father , the charismatic cross between Churchill & Lucan had a very "soft spot" for animals so my early childhood was blessed with being close to a huge variety. There were always three or four dogs , some dozen or more "yard" cats ,a Green Fronted Amazon Parrot called Charlie who laid an egg and became Charlotte , an aviary full of squawking parakeets & budgerigars , about 500 free running chickens (much to the delight of the local Fox) and George The Monkey.
I am never quite sure what type of Monkey he was but I think he was a Spider Monkey . He was pretty much hated by the whole household apart from father who he amused greatly - but of course father never had to clean up after him - he just sat in his Victorian ex-dentist's chair and laughed with George like a naughty schoolboy . George spent 90% of his time living on high up on the pelmets and pooing down the curtains and I remember Mrs P saying it was nigh on a full time job just looking after "the wretched thing " as she called it . Very often if you were eating he would glare down at you watching you take every mouthful and then swing down off the curtains , pinch a potato or some such thing off your plate , swing back up to the pelmets and half eat his booty before hurling (very accurately) a half eaten potato back at you followed by much hand clapping and grinning! I am glad to say that eventually he went to live in a friend of my father's house in Knowle.
My next encounter with monkeys / apes was at a Cabinetmaker in Gretton near Winchcombe in Gloucestershire called Willie Udelhoven. Willie had a partner whose name escapes me and in their workshop they had a large Monkey in a very capacious cage. The thing was called "The Shop Steward" - so called because it was meant to keep the peace between Willie and his partner - but in true Shop Steward Style it sat and masturbated for most of the day! Their cabinetmaking and antique furniture restoration was excellent and I was assured the shop steward was quite happy.
Following this was Rome zoo in my early courting days with Sheelagh - an odd place where prostitutes lined the perimeter in little makeshift huts with braziers outside and plied their trade with the fathers while mothers would take the families to the zoo. The Monkey House was very popular here with both young and old who watched with great interest the sexual habits of the said beasts. There was a lot of fornication happening much to the delight of the crowds and the parents would watch with really rather young children - in Britain I think it would have been "come along Jonnie let's go and get an ice cream" - but no - not here in true Latin style when one "started" the whole crowd would start clapping and shouting with much glee which of course encouraged the monkeys even more!
My next encounter was with the large Barbary Apes in Gibraltar - horrid big beasts that used to love "green" tourists and pinch their handbags and hurl them off the cliff . I believe that all the Apes there are in the employ of the British Army and even have paybooks! When living in Tangiers our landlord , Bernhart an exiled ex Nazi , had one called Katinka who was probably the most evil beast I have ever encountered but was fortunately tethered to a stout tree and secured by collar & chain .
In Kenya we holidayed on a little island close to the Tanganyikan border with both children who were then about 9 and 11and we resided in two sort of luxury mud & grass hut affairs and were given a roomboy/servant called Peter. Peter was a delightful chap but was instilled with the typical "Kenyan work ethic" everything was "polee polee" meaning very slowly . One day he came to me and said my children had made a terrible mess in their hut and he was going to the Island Manager , Mr Bob so I called Maeve & Gabe and asked them what on earth they had been doing in their hut but they assured me that they were blameless so I decided to investigate myself only to find two monkeys up in the ceiling causing havoc and chucking stuff everywhere!
So safe to say that Monkeys and I don't really hit it off!
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