Timeline: 1970s-80s Location: Shipston on Stour
James R Carter-Sharp was a most extraordinary man who owned The Kandy Shop in Shipston on Stour. I am giving quite a lot of preamble about this gentleman and his abode because there are further tales to come! "Sharpy" was ex military , extremely erudite and an absolutely huge character. He arrived in Shipston via Public School ( Gordonstoun from memory) , then The Army & then Tea Planting in Kuala Lumpur . He regularly exclaimed "Baggy - I tell thee the ugliest women in the World come from Kuala Lumpur!" Sharpy took possession of the Kandy Shop and Babs Furniss another great local character managed the shop in an almost Dickensian manner and could be seen bumbling about Shipston in her little Austin A30 which she drove till she died.
In Honesty Sharpy did very little in the shop and Babs organised everything leaving Sharpy to drink and regale his audience in The White Bear to his heart's content . The little shop was an extraordinary place - a sweet shop typical of pre-war days but now in the 1970s with large jars of sweets including bulls eyes , gobstoppers , aniseed balls and a plethora of other sweeties which were weighed out on ancient scales under the watchful eye of Babs and transferred to paper bags - it really was a child's paradise. Moving to the back there was a stock room containing more Jars , packets , a Lyons Maid Ice cream freezer , two bar stools by the freezer which doubled as a bar top to drink cheap Spanish wine from and the "clockwork orange" - a small hanging transistor radio which Sharpy loved.
Behind this there was a very antiquated bathroom where the bath was always full of used cardboard neatly broken down and folded by Babs . Up one flight of stairs one found the little sitting room with two ancient armchairs an old TV , various Malaysian artefacts and an old style gas fire where Sharpy toasted his rolling tobacco so it was bone dry and would rip your lungs out if you dared to smoke a "Sharpy Trumpet" ( He was smoking these super strength roll ups way before roll ups became popular!) . Opposite this room was the bedroom with a bed and piddle bucket (there being no facilities upstairs) and very little else .
So the scene is set and one fine day in the afternoon Sharpy was holding court in the White Bear, his two sticks by his side , dragging on his fearsome roll ups with his one remaining lung and slurping Bass at an alarming rate when a delightful lady , Jane , entered the bar and sat close by. Jane was an attractive woman who was almost blind but was fascinated by Sharpy and his stories and eventually Sharpy bellowed " Jane - I say unto thee thou art a vision of loveliness" in typical Sharpy lingo which was a kind of mixture of a variety of ancient English styles. Jane was much taken with this and so it began - a most extraordinary love affair.
The main problem was that Sharpy didn't drive because he was constantly "in drink" , had no car and was probably banned anyway and Jane didn't drive because she was blind and as Sharpy lived in Shipston and Jane lived in Ettington this was a logistical problem . The local Taxi was indeed quite regularly employed to bring Jane to Shipston on occasions but neither of them had much spare cash so from time to time I would pick her up . In the main it was at weekends that Jane came down for overnight visits which meant they didn't see each other in the week.
In the early days, apparently, Jane's needs were not satisfied in the week and Sharpy bellowed to a White Bear full of people " Blah - I had telephonic sex with the lovely Jane last night" to much amusement by those that knew him and to the shock of strangers! This happened on several occasions . He staggered into the bar on his sticks one day looking really rather poorly and puffing for breath - "You ok Sharpy?" I asked " No I feel dashed rough in fact I feel completely "Boogered" (his pronunciation) " "Oh dear - take it a bit easy" I said " I shall indeed dear boy - in fact Jane called last night for telephonic sex and I felt so rough I had to fake it!!!
Another quickie - in White Bear with Sharpy , Sheelagh and others together with our dear friend Bill "The Scribe" Smethurst who was editor of the Archers . Sharpy suddenly exclaimed "What's the young of an Octopus called" - much head scratching later we came up with no satisfactory answer - Sharpy bellowed " an Octokitten you fools" - It was in the Archers the next week!
More to come !
James R Carter-Sharp was a most extraordinary man who owned The Kandy Shop in Shipston on Stour. I am giving quite a lot of preamble about this gentleman and his abode because there are further tales to come! "Sharpy" was ex military , extremely erudite and an absolutely huge character. He arrived in Shipston via Public School ( Gordonstoun from memory) , then The Army & then Tea Planting in Kuala Lumpur . He regularly exclaimed "Baggy - I tell thee the ugliest women in the World come from Kuala Lumpur!" Sharpy took possession of the Kandy Shop and Babs Furniss another great local character managed the shop in an almost Dickensian manner and could be seen bumbling about Shipston in her little Austin A30 which she drove till she died.
So the scene is set and one fine day in the afternoon Sharpy was holding court in the White Bear, his two sticks by his side , dragging on his fearsome roll ups with his one remaining lung and slurping Bass at an alarming rate when a delightful lady , Jane , entered the bar and sat close by. Jane was an attractive woman who was almost blind but was fascinated by Sharpy and his stories and eventually Sharpy bellowed " Jane - I say unto thee thou art a vision of loveliness" in typical Sharpy lingo which was a kind of mixture of a variety of ancient English styles. Jane was much taken with this and so it began - a most extraordinary love affair.
The main problem was that Sharpy didn't drive because he was constantly "in drink" , had no car and was probably banned anyway and Jane didn't drive because she was blind and as Sharpy lived in Shipston and Jane lived in Ettington this was a logistical problem . The local Taxi was indeed quite regularly employed to bring Jane to Shipston on occasions but neither of them had much spare cash so from time to time I would pick her up . In the main it was at weekends that Jane came down for overnight visits which meant they didn't see each other in the week.
In the early days, apparently, Jane's needs were not satisfied in the week and Sharpy bellowed to a White Bear full of people " Blah - I had telephonic sex with the lovely Jane last night" to much amusement by those that knew him and to the shock of strangers! This happened on several occasions . He staggered into the bar on his sticks one day looking really rather poorly and puffing for breath - "You ok Sharpy?" I asked " No I feel dashed rough in fact I feel completely "Boogered" (his pronunciation) " "Oh dear - take it a bit easy" I said " I shall indeed dear boy - in fact Jane called last night for telephonic sex and I felt so rough I had to fake it!!!
Another quickie - in White Bear with Sharpy , Sheelagh and others together with our dear friend Bill "The Scribe" Smethurst who was editor of the Archers . Sharpy suddenly exclaimed "What's the young of an Octopus called" - much head scratching later we came up with no satisfactory answer - Sharpy bellowed " an Octokitten you fools" - It was in the Archers the next week!
More to come !
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